Sour Green Spring Soccer

I'm a little late in this post, but so is everything in my life. February, March, and April were a blur. I was so sick and exhausted I lost my will to do anything. The pregnancy hit me in full force the last week of January and it was all I could do to get out of bed each morning and get my kids off to school. As soon as the girls were at school, I laid on the couch with a blanket and felt like I was going to die. Nathan and Spencer became way too acquainted with Dora the Explorer and Diego. I was downright miserable. I was failing in every aspect. I couldn't take care of my children, didn't have enough energy to do any kind of cleaning, and my dear friends brought in meals so that my family could eat. Each pregnancy is a little different although I get sick with each one. I can endure two months of sickness because I really want each child and I feel so strongly that having another baby is what I am supposed to do. I love each one of my children so much and I can't imagine life without them, even if the pregnancies are tough. And usually when I hit 15 weeks, I feel much better, still tired, but I can once again enjoy life and my children and I can then get excited about the new arrival preparing it's way. With Nathan it was different. I did get a little better around week 20, but was throwing up the entire pregnancy. I didn't think I could handle another pregnancy like that one. I guess it wasn't so much if I could handle another pregnancy that sick, but could I do that to my family? I can deal with 9 months of fatigue and throwing-up, the end result is so worth it. But my family really suffers. Evan really suffers, although he tries his hardest to be compassionate and supportive. But that only goes so far with no clean clothes, no food in the pantry, no clean dishes, and children that are completely neglected. My mom came for a week and helped out. I was so thankful. My dad came during spring break to play with the kids while they were off from school. So wonderful. And my sister came one weekend and made 20 freezer meals so we would have something to eat around here. I was so thankful for the help because I really could not do it myself. I remember being out of milk for several days and finally just making myself get up and go to the grocery store. I pulled into the parking lot, unloaded Nathan and Spencer, walked to the back of the store and grabbed a gallon of milk. I lifted the milk to the cart and as I went to lift another gallon, I stopped and decided I did not have enough energy to pick it up let along put in on the conveyor belt, again into the cart, into the car, out of the car, and into my fridge. One gallon of milk was going to have to suffice until Evan could get us more. I was too exhausted. I beat myself up over how selfish I am to want another baby when I know what pregnancy does to us. But, I knew not only did I want another baby, but I was supposed to have another child. And so I hoped and prayed that the sick part of this pregnancy would last only two short months and then we could go on. Week 15 hit and I was still violently throwing up. Week 18 hit and I resigned to the idea that this pregnancy would go like the last, the entire 9 months. And then week 20 hit and I suddenly felt better. I was still nauseated, but I quit throwing up. I actually had some energy to cook dinner. I was able to go shopping and get Danielle some new shorts that fit. Life was slowly returning. Heavenly Father was helping me when He knew I could not endure any longer.

And so you probably are wondering why the title of this post is Spring soccer and why am I going on about myself. I don't think I will ever forget this Spring soccer 2010. It started the first week of February, right as the rough part of the pregnancy was hitting. I signed Taneal, Camie, and Danielle all up the first week of January, before I knew I was pregnant. 3 kids. Each a game every Saturday and one practice a week. And it was cold. I could not get warm. I had the temperature set in my house at 78 degrees and I was still freezing. Practice was so cold that I was shivering while the kids didn't even need jackets. And Nathan would not stay close. He was everywhere, trying his hardest to help me get my exercise. So, after 15 minutes of the first practice, we sat in the van while Camie had her practice on Monday night, Camie and Danielle both on Thursday night (for 2 hours, 1 hr each), and Taneal Friday night. And then 3-4 games every Saturday. I would have just quit with Danielle and Camie, but if we quit the team would have had to forfeit because there weren't enough players. I didn't know any of the other players who could help me out, so we endured. Taneal LOVES soccer, and so I could not stop. I knew several of the parents on Taneal's team who so graciously helped me with many of the practices and games. It was a very long season, one I never wish to repeat. But we endured. Thanks to my little brother, Charles, who put movies on my ipod so my children had something to do while we waited in the car during practices.

I must quite with the pessimism. I feel so much better now. My children learned to cook and clean. They are still playing. We cancelled the tv so Nathan and Spencer can learn to do something else. And we successfully made it through one season of soccer. Just because I stopped, they still continued. And they still love me. So here is to Spring soccer. And the blog entry is part of a journal, my journal. From my perspective. I do not write it in hopes of sympathy, I do not want any. I write it to document life and the ups and downs that we all have. Spring was both up and down for me, down because my body just does not like pregnancy, but up because I have been so blessed with this little life within me. I am excitedly waiting the arrival of this beautiful baby who will bless my life and the lives of those already part of my family.

Oh, and we missed Taneal's team picture, and I didn't pull out the camera to get my own pictures. I should not have bothered with Camie's team pictures because many from her team were not there, her coach included. I have no idea who the lady is standing in as the coach. Camie sure looks beautiful. And this was Danielle's first season to play. She was so cute, with her girly run. She would occasionally kick the ball, but was not aggressive in ANY way. I photoshopped the pictures to take out the name and locations. And even if next season I feel well, (which I will because I won't be pregnant) I don't think I want to EVER sign that many kids of for soccer again.